open heart(s)

life is impermanent. most of us understand this fact abstractly. it is only when impermanence grazes by so closely that you are truly exposed to the fleeting nature of life. maybe you accept it and keep it top of mind or maybe you forget until the next time it happens.

almost a year ago impermanence struck my life, tragic and heart-wrenching. the last time i felt compelled to write a 'cessions post was during this time. but it's funny how life keeps going and presence of mind fades.

last week i was confronted with impermanence once again.

my father had emergency open-heart surgery. no one expected that this could happen to him.

his heart and lungs were stopped for five hours while five of his arteries were repaired. machines did the vital work for his body, keeping him alive during the surgery. now his new heart has to regain it's rhythm again.

last week seems as though it lasted an eternity. the family gathered together ad-hoc and did our best to manage through it. the repercussions and realizations from last week will be rippling through us for a long time to come. i hope they do not fade fast.

it's made me think a lot about what really matters most. the mundane concerns from two weeks ago that seemed so major and pressing then are now distant thoughts.

in this moment what matters most is my family. making sure they understand how important they are to me. showing - not simply feeling - my love for them. i've taken them for granted. for most of my adult life, i've considered my friends more of my true family than my actual family. i want to change this. i want my family to know and feel the bounty from my opened heart.

and my wish for my father's own opened heart is that it remain unblocked to all the possibilities of mutual love and respect.